So as I sit here on my Momma Time, watching "Dawsons Creek" (lol my favorite show from my teenage days)I realize that with a child added not much has changed from when I was younger. I still want to be Joey and I still haven't found my soul mate.
I use to sit at home and watch Joey struggle with her love for Dawson, first season, and think god I want to love someone as much as Joey loves him. And then watch him gradually realize that Joey was the one for him. Of course as the seasons add and they grow feelings change. It's the way it goes. But I'm realizing that I'm sitting here, alone, wishing for love the same as I was all those years ago.
Insert a huge, deep sigh. Does this mean that I haven't grown any? That I'm still the hopeless teenager who dreams of a romantic man coming and sweeping me off my feet. That I haven't realized that no matter how many shows I watch, or movies for that matter, NO ONE is coming. But what IF someone is coming. Just not when I'm in my 20's (clearly now that they have passed)like expected.
Is it bad to hold hope? Sometimes I think it is. That I'm teaching Little Momma that you need a man to be happy. Realistically I know that's not the case. I'm very happy with my life. And I'm teaching her that she makes her happiness. That the Prince doesn't need to save her, she can save herself.
But do I wish there was a man to share that with, sometimes. Sometimes I think about how different things would be. I wouldn't be happier, cause I make my happiness. But sometimes I find myself thinking.
Maybe that's the danger. Thinking to much.
