A little on the serious side!

Okay so it's like really really nice out! And this works in Big Momma's favor in a big way. I'm still shooting the little clips and bits for my Biggest Loser video. I am praying every night to anyone that is listening that I get the opportunity to change my life. So if you know someone who knows someone Big Momma is a nice girl that would really really like to be on the show ;)

One of my few very close girlie's Princess is doing a great job filming for me. But let me tell you what. No matter how good of a friend the person is, it's hard to talk about how much you really weight and expose your self like that. I just count my blessings that I have friends like Princess, Blondie and Bushes. Ones that I know will support me no matter how big I am. I love you crazy beotches! There are many many other friends that are there for me as well. All of whom are wishing me luck to get on the show and telling me that they got my back. I love ya'll too! Big Momma wants to do this for a number of different reasons. And now she's gonna expose herself and tell you what they are!

Big Momma I'm sure like a ton of other men and women out there is a stress eater. And it doesnt take much to stress me out. For real though is that a surprise? I work 40hrs a week, raise a child by my self and am going to college. Who wouldnt get stressed over stupid shit? Maybe Superman or Wonderwoman of whom I am NOT. LOL. I have gone through things that I hope I only had to go through so that Lil Momma doesnt have to. Molestead as a child, raped and have had my share of abusive relationships. Whether they are emotional or physical. But I've held my own cause I take comfort in food. It doesnt put me down and it doesnt make me cry. When I go to get it, it's always there :) But now I'm not getting that same comfort. And I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do with my self. I have Lil Momma and she means the world to me. But I cant do the things with her that I want to. Because my weight holds me back. I'm fed up. So I'm taking a stand. I'm starting a diet at home. And I am applying for the Biggest Loser. I know if I get it, they will kick my ass and make me wish I had never applied. But there is nothing more that can happen to me that will be worse then what I have already gone through. So I'm keeping my head up and I'm sending my shit in and I'm trying to be a contestant.

For all the other people out there that are like me and take solace in food. Take solace in LIFE. Look around you and fully see what you missing. I see it. I'm missing going shoping with Blondie and Princess in the skinny stores and dragging them to the fat people stores with me. I am missing out on going to carnivals and riding rides with Lil Momma. And I'm missing out on the hundreds and thousands of things that I might enjoy but dont try cause of my weight.

So I toast to us. To the things we want to accomplish. And then things I know I will get to do in the years to come because I'm no longer a victim of my stress eating, I'm not a victim for anything!