Mommy Time

I know Big Momma isn't the only one that on certain days looks forward to going to work so that she has some time to herself.
Not that I have time to myself with the phone raining, people coming in, someone needing this done, that ordered, can you mail this, yadda yadda yadda. But for some reason it's much easier ignore someone that didn't come from my womb and doesn't go "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" A million times.
Lil Momma had her Doctors appointment today and her babysitter, blah on holiday breaks and school being closed for TWO WEEKS!, brought her to my work because thankfully Big Momma thought ahead and had a Doctor right around the corner. She was so excited to be here and Big Momma was all chaotic. "Don't touch that! Don't do that!" LOL.
She was in my "Mommy Time" Bubble and while I love her to a million little pieces, her four year old mind hasn't totally wrapped around the concept that Mommies work is not her bedroom where she can touch and play with everything.
This is one Momma that could never work from home and Big Momma give's props to those that do! Good for you!
I use this time for my adult interaction, my lunch is for reading without interruption (on the by and by pick up Dan Brown's Lost Symbol, AMAZING! woot woot to my Kindle! www.amazon.com ), and to eat what I want for lunch without "I don't like peperoni, I don't want eggs, I don't eat that Mommy."
I think every parent needs some them time.
So single Mothers, single Fathers. Take your "Me Time", don't feel bad about it. Shoot even if your not a single parent. Take time for you. Something I heard recently and is sticking with me. I love it.
"Treat yourself as good as you treat your best friend. You go the extra mile for your best friend to make them smile, laugh or feel better, why not do it for yourself?"

New Year 2011

Well Big Momma admits that she has been a horrible slacker. Things in 2010 have been busy. Lil Momma has been keeping me on my toes as no other 4 year old can.
Christmas in the Momma house was wonderful. Lil Momma has fully gotten into the spirit and she was happy that Santa brought her all that she asked for. Big Momma as well got what she asked for from Santa. :) A new Kindle (check them out at www.amazon.com ) I'm going Kindle nuts.
In the New Year Big Momma isn't planning on making to many resolutions, just a few.
1) Read more
2) Blog more
3) Laugh more
4) Love more
5) Live more
I have seen this year that I don't live in the moment enough. I have to enjoy what I have now. Yes I, Big Momma, am a single mother. Yes I do work in a job that under pays me and I work for a boss that is sexist and egotistical and never listens. But I have a lot going for me as well. Big Momma is blessed with an amazing family and wonderful friends. I have a daughter that is brilliant and she's that way because I teach her more and more every day, just as much as she's teaching me.
So today's lessons to my fellow single parents:
There is always going to be bills, unwashed clothes and dishes, something to pick up and something that has to be done. Some stress somewhere out there for you to be panicking about. But push it aside, at least for a week in the wonderful beginning of the fresh 2011, and Live More, Love More, and Laugh More. :)

Rain Rain Go Away

Is Big Momma the only one that notice's when it's raining and we are all stuck indoors that the Little Ones act up? :) Lil Momma is a hot mess lately. She doesn't handle it well at all. LOL.
She's looking forward to dance the moment we step out the door. Lil Momma is my Prima Ballerina. It's really rewarding to see her come home and show off her new moves. She's like so excited to practice them all week long.
Big Momma on the other hand is looking forward to the time to go to the Y and work out. I will be joining it this weekend. And then Big Momma has decided that for her "30th" I will be going to the Biggest Loser Spa and Resort in Utah. Time to get in shape. I can still be Big Momma and not be so damn big:)

Things that make you go HMMMMMMM

SD contacted me and wanted to see Lil Momma. Big Momma took her over there and we spent two hours there. It was good to see Lil Momma so happy. They played and watched a movie and SD asked a lot of questions about her. Big Momma being the Mother as always, asked about family illness's and what not. LOL Just being prepared.
SD has made plans to go visit again on Thursday and wants to go Trick or Treating with us next month.
Now your thinking "Big Momma" what happened to forgive and forget. Well I have forgiven, and I'm moving on. But if he's ready to be a part of Lil Momma's life and she wants him to be there. I'm going to let him. It's not about what happened between Big Momma and SD. It's about Lil Momma and her relationship with her SD. So as long as SD doesn't hurt her feelings or make her sad in anyway then we will be fine.
Big Momma will admit, hoping that admitting makes her see the truth of it, that she feels there is a underlined story to it. Like SD is hoping to get out of the court issues with child support. Or that his lawyer told him that he needs to do it so the court will take it easy on him. And if those are the motives then Big Momma isn't pleased that SD is using her Lil Momma. And trust that Big Momma will note it down and make sure that get's addressed in a way that is exceptional. No one should use a child like that. Period. But Big Momma made it clear, :) VERY CLEAR, that if there is a single tear shed, there will be *cough, cough* problems. So here's to hoping that Big Momma is wrong in this case.

I'm baaaack!!!!1

Big Momma here. Lot’s to report. Not only is SD messing himself up in court trying to pull the wool over the judges eyes. But he’s pissing Big Momma off in a royal way. He has THREE time’s messed up seeing Lil Momma. After accusing me of not letting him see her and being mean and blah blah blah. He calls to make the effort to see her. Big Momma being the bigger person says yes. I will bring Lil Momma to see him at a park. Well SD said that he’s just getting up and he will call back as soon as he’s ready to meet us. BIG SURPRISE here ladies and gentlemen. NO CALL! So Big Momma call’s him the next day and he blames it on another one of his Baby Mothers. Then ask’s me to have Lil Momma call her that night. Big Momma tells him to call her him self and he hangs up. Not only does he not all but when Lil Momma is getting out of the bath Big Momma calls SD, and low and behold he doesn’t answer the phone. So the third and last day that Big Momma play’s this game she calls him and SD said that he never received a call from us. So Big Momma makes it very very clear. Call her tonight. I pick her up from school at 5:30 you can call Lil Momma then. So SD said that he is going to be in a special meeting and that he will call after he’s done. So I inform him that Lil Momma goes to bed at 8:30pm and SD said that he’s going to call around 7:30pm. And here’s a HUGE SURPRISE! NO call. So Big Momma then text’s him my lawyers office and explains that we have no reason for hear on out to talk to him in any way shape or form. And that he needs to pass any communications to our lawyer.
And in the “New Life of Big Momma” part of my steps are getting rid of people that cause drama in my life. So I have deleted anyone that is in my life that may cause issues. For example pass information on to moron or continuously ask me questions about him or the situation.
After deleting them I have worked on forgiving them and forgetting them. Big Momma doesn’t need them holding me down and keeping me irritated.
What Big Momma’s goal is to be able to forgive and forget SD. Big Momma needs to forgive him for not being the man that I think he should be. Just because Big Momma thinks that he should be a specific way, doesn’t mean that SD can be that way. Not everyone knows what responsibilities are or how to take care of their children. And quite frankly Big Momma is doing more than a stellar job. Lil Momma doesn’t need his in and out Fathering.
So, Big Momma wants to pass her wisdom on. I want you to see that I can move on no matter my anger or hatred. Because even though he’s a idiot and about a million other things that I wont mention here. SD gave Big Momma the best gift of her life.
Lil Momma. And everyday she’s a amazing blessing to Big Momma. Her smile, her laugh, her intelligence, and her essence.
Big Momma is blessed. Truly Blessed. And Big Momma hopes that you read this and it helps you realize more and more just how blessed you are.
The next thing that I have to report is that Big Momma is yet again trying to get on the Biggest Loser. I have a great support system and friends that are going to help me through applying and hopefully getting on the Biggest Loser. So wish Big Momma luck!
Lil Momma is starting dance soon. She’s going to be doing a half hour of Tap and a half hour of Ballet. Big Momma hasn’t seen Lil Momma so excited except around Christmas time. LOL Dance starts in two weeks and she already has her bag packed with her tights and her leotards. Lil Momma even has the water in the water bottles sitting in the fridge getting cold.  Bless her heart. Seeing her excitement makes Big Momma happier then hell.

Really!!!????

So the fates have decided. Lil Momma and I ran in to her SD at the mall. So not cool.
Ya'll will be so proud of Big Momma. I didn't scream, rant or rave. I was not happy to see him in any way shape or form.
As a matter of fact he walked by us once and acted like he didn't know who we were. I was so PISSED that Big Momma had to sit down and and take a breather. To stop myself from beating the shit out of him, and causing a scene. And to not cry. That's right. Not cry. I'm a human. And it broke Big Momma's heart that he wouldn't acknowledge Lil Momma.
So then SP came over and sat down and talked to her for about a total of five minutes.
Then left. That was it. The total of Lil Momma's daughter/father time. And sadly that's the end of that.
BUT Big Momma will prevail. I'm taking SP to court for child support. And if he doesn't pay then back to prison he goes. So step one here it comes. It's well past time ONE of his Baby Momma's stopped letting him get away with shit.
So ladies, if you are reading this. Stand up and do what you know is right.

Graduation!!!!

So Big Momma has a degree!!!!! I officially have my Associates Degree in General Sciences. Which basically means that Big Momma has no clue as to what she wants to do with the rest of her life. :) But, I have one and that's more than most people can say.
So I want all you fellow readers to see this and say. Well shit. Big Momma did it and she raised Lil Momma and worked 40 hours a week. If she can do it I can do it too!
Cause guess what! You can. The only thing that is holding you back is your own fear. There is nothing in this world that you cant do. Big Momma wants to sit in the middle of Stonehenge and feel the history around her. And she will do it.
I want ya'll to learn from me and know that there is NOT ONE THING that you cant do. Nothing you cant survive.
Love ya!

Woo Hoo!

Big Momma is Graduating this Thursday! I cant believe it. I'm so excited about it.
I want to take this time to give a Holla to all the other single Mother's out there that are doing their thing! We are the shit!

As well I'm finished with my Prolonged Exposure. Which I have to say was as of today the hardest thing that Big Momma has ever done in her life. And at the same time it's been one of the most effective things I have ever done as well. My PTSD symptoms are down and I'm feeling good. So two graduations in one month!!!!

Lil Momma is doing good. She's not struggling with the fact that her SD is home which makes me happy. It's rough watching her cry for him. I know she misses him. And I know she loves the idea of a Dad. But this man is none of the above. And she's learning that. Day at a time. A rough lesson but at the same time I am reminding Lil Momma that there are plenty of people in her life that love her very much. And that she's alright without him.

A little something something I just wrote. Hope you like:)

There is only one thing goal in life, only one true desire, love.

What is love?

Love is the first breath you take in the morning after a spring rain. When the world is renewed and awakening.

Love is the first cry a baby gives after being delivered from the safety and warmth of a mother’s womb.

To walk down the street, with someone holding your hand and look into your eyes. With all the love and devotion that one person can possible hold in their soul. To see that you are all that someone needs to have to complete them.

The other half of their heartbeat, a beat that is for you and you only.

True love will hold you and all you hold sacred safely in its arms day and night. Something that when you’ve aged and gotten grey, will still be strong and complete, as the day it first came to be.

Love is something that is given as a truly free gift.

A gift that I choose to give you, for you are my air, my substance and my being.

Big Momma has big hopes for love, for herself and for you! Keep your head up and your heart clear. It's there. Just let it come, don't force it. :)

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

WOOO TGIF.

Big Momma had a long week! For whatever reason I cant get my butt up in the morning. The alarm goes off and Big Momma is snoozing till the last possible minute. Then Lil Momma and I are running around frantic to get ready to go to work and go to Pre School. Next week will be different ;) With any luck!

So today I went to see "Death at a Funeral" with a friend. It was a real good movie. Funnier then hell. Soooooo something I could see happening with Big Momma's family. Bad enough we got a Uncle that sings "Another One Bites The Dust" every time someone dies. When I tell you this, I know your gonna laugh. But Big Momma has the BIGGEST Redneck family in Up State NY. Picture this with me, LOL, ZZ Top poor, no teeth, drunk and or high. That's Big Momma's family.

My family w0uld soooo do some shit like that. Hid the dead midget in the coffin, and watched the high naked ass man on the roof thinking about killing himself or someone else. (In my family he would have a shot gun;) ) BUT the one thing that wouldn't happen is the secret keeping. Keeping one of those in my crazy ass family is like finding a Huge Cardinal Yellow Diamond. LOL. Not gonna happen unless your in Tiffany's. You go to a family reunion and you will see the family that mixes the races, (rock on ladies! get some more color in this family) and then the rest of them. The ones that glare and pick their tooth. LOL But you will here gossip and secrets from Texas. Followed by "You wont believe what I just heard. Don't tell anyone but......She slept with our cousin and got pregnant and had a abortion. NO she didn't realize that we are related. Well of course both their last names are the same. They just thought it was a different family. I know she's dumb as fuck. And still doing it after she found out that they were cousins. What the fuck is wrong with her! OH! Here she comes! Heeeeeyyyyyyy Cuz! How are things? Anything new?" True Story! This is why Big Momma eats only Chocolate. Cause I KNOW we aren't related! LMAO

Anyway as Big Momma's mind goes wondering off, I will let you laugh at my family. I do. It's okay. Maybe you can come to the next family event and laugh with me!

Really?

So I'm confused. Why is it that you want to keep yourself at one level and not try to achieve to get better?

I see people who walk around all the time trying to act better then what they are, not realizing that they aren't anything to begin with. Then they turn and JUDGE someone else. Are you kidding?

That's one thing Big Momma hates. More than anything. People who don't realize what they are. Or people who settle. And not work for something better.

There are people out there in this world who are more than happy to let their teeth rot out of their heads and live on welfare for ever. They drink and just have more and more kids without any worry about what is going to become of them.

What's wrong with working? With trying to achieve for better? Get educated and want to set a example for your children?

Sadly there are places that I wont take Lil Momma because of these people. People that sit in the park and scream at their children about how they are going to beat their ass or shut the fuck up. All these people who are living on welfare and not trying to do anything with their life but sit in the park and get drunk and high. Now I'm not trying to oppose doing your thing. Do it. But do it so my child doesn't have to see and or hear it. I want her to see the example of people playing with their kids in a loving manner and raising them to get a education and to do better then what they had growing up. That's the way it's supposed to be.

So why am I the only one that knows or thinks that? Maybe because Big Momma isn't a crackhead. And maybe because I'm educated. Or because I simply take a bath and brush my teeth. :)

Big Momma says that every one should 1) take a damn bath 2) brush your teeth 3) raise your children to be better than you. Don't encourage future ignorance. And Finally 4) Watch your fucking mouth in the god damn park. My daughter doesn't need to hear that shit!

Not playing games

Big Momma wonders how much bullshit one is supposed to deal with.

You would think at some point the adults would be that. Adults.

Big Momma is done trying to pretend it doesn't happen. Or that it doesn't bother her. So she's just not going to take it any more. I'm talking out and saying what I have to say. You don't like it? Suck my dick.

And as for CS Sperm Donor. Really? You think that buying a pair of sneakers that she wont ever see, will make up for the shit you have put her through? I don't think so. So you can take those sneakers and shove them up your ass.

A little on the serious side!

Okay so it's like really really nice out! And this works in Big Momma's favor in a big way. I'm still shooting the little clips and bits for my Biggest Loser video. I am praying every night to anyone that is listening that I get the opportunity to change my life. So if you know someone who knows someone Big Momma is a nice girl that would really really like to be on the show ;)

One of my few very close girlie's Princess is doing a great job filming for me. But let me tell you what. No matter how good of a friend the person is, it's hard to talk about how much you really weight and expose your self like that. I just count my blessings that I have friends like Princess, Blondie and Bushes. Ones that I know will support me no matter how big I am. I love you crazy beotches! There are many many other friends that are there for me as well. All of whom are wishing me luck to get on the show and telling me that they got my back. I love ya'll too! Big Momma wants to do this for a number of different reasons. And now she's gonna expose herself and tell you what they are!

Big Momma I'm sure like a ton of other men and women out there is a stress eater. And it doesnt take much to stress me out. For real though is that a surprise? I work 40hrs a week, raise a child by my self and am going to college. Who wouldnt get stressed over stupid shit? Maybe Superman or Wonderwoman of whom I am NOT. LOL. I have gone through things that I hope I only had to go through so that Lil Momma doesnt have to. Molestead as a child, raped and have had my share of abusive relationships. Whether they are emotional or physical. But I've held my own cause I take comfort in food. It doesnt put me down and it doesnt make me cry. When I go to get it, it's always there :) But now I'm not getting that same comfort. And I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do with my self. I have Lil Momma and she means the world to me. But I cant do the things with her that I want to. Because my weight holds me back. I'm fed up. So I'm taking a stand. I'm starting a diet at home. And I am applying for the Biggest Loser. I know if I get it, they will kick my ass and make me wish I had never applied. But there is nothing more that can happen to me that will be worse then what I have already gone through. So I'm keeping my head up and I'm sending my shit in and I'm trying to be a contestant.

For all the other people out there that are like me and take solace in food. Take solace in LIFE. Look around you and fully see what you missing. I see it. I'm missing going shoping with Blondie and Princess in the skinny stores and dragging them to the fat people stores with me. I am missing out on going to carnivals and riding rides with Lil Momma. And I'm missing out on the hundreds and thousands of things that I might enjoy but dont try cause of my weight.

So I toast to us. To the things we want to accomplish. And then things I know I will get to do in the years to come because I'm no longer a victim of my stress eating, I'm not a victim for anything!

More Changes for Big Momma

So Big Momma is making Big decisions. I'm applying for The Biggest Loser. Big Momma is trying to do things that will change my life. To allow me to live it to the fullest. And to do for Lil Momma like I should be able to do.

To be the roll model that she deserves. The role model that will be living in her house. That knows her and shows her what is within reach for any woman. A REAL woman that isn't in movies but in her life.

Wish me luck! I am ready to have Jillian bitch me out and for Bob to make me cry on National Television. I'm ready to play the game and lose weight and get healthy for the first time in my life.

Big Momma is ready to live life to the fullest and take advantage to all that is there.

Easter Weekend

Well it's Easter Weekend already. It sure does go by fast doesn't it. I feel like we just had Christmas.

We just got decorating eggs and my Lil Momma is in the bath. I'm getting slightly excited to hide eggs and get ready for her to see that the Easter Bunny came. Then we are off to my parents house for Easter Dinner with the family.

Big Momma has had a pretty amazing weekend. Spent some great time with my Best Girl in the whole world, Princess. Have you ever had a friend that you know you were meant to find? That's my Princess. We sat on her deck and watched Lil Momma and JR play in the Lake. LOL in the beginning of April in this retched town that doesn't have season's other than Winter and Hot as Hell. It's nice to see that I'm still needed other than as a mother.

Which leads me into my opinion for the weekend. Big Momma has been having it rough, feeling like my only roll is to just try to find the time in the day and get as much in as I can. And then there are others out there that have it so easy. Case in point:

Big Momma's baby daddy has now still not come around. He has still not come around, hasn't called in a while. I'm not sad about it. Actually I'm really happy about. What I'm NOT happy about is that he gets no repercussions. He has been out shopping and chillin and just doing him. Meanwhile my car is breaking down and I need new clothes and so does Lil Momma. So then I get renewal paperwork in the mail for our health insurance, Section 8 and what not. (Working full time and still having to need the Gov't to foot some of the bill is a bitch) I have to get proof that he's NOT paying his child support. So I talk to them and ask them what I need and then I ask the dreaded question. When can I expect it? The answer was like the other shoe falling on my half way good day. He applied for public assistance. The MF is getting assistance and doesn't have to pay his child support. So how does that work? You sell drug's, you get caught and go to jail. Then you get out and get Public Assistance. How the fuck does that work????? YES I SAID FUCK. I work 40 hrs a week at a job I totally hate. And I go to school to better my self so that I make more then nothing a hour. And I barely get enough assistance to make it through month to month. And not to start a pitty party. But Big Momma would like to be able to live more than check to check. But NOOOOOOOOOOO I have to do a million other things while this CS is out doing whatever he wants and not taking care of his responsibilities. So no lies. Big Momma was and still is a little pissed about that. I BUST MY ASS and have little to nothing to show for it. And this man is driving a new car fresh out of jail and buying new fitted's and Timm's and god only knows what else.

And what exactly does Big Momma think about this? I think it's bullshit that we are letting the felon's get all this shit. It's like we are congratulating the. Good job selling those drugs, getting caught and then being sent somewhere where you get three square meals, cable even though most people cant afford it and what ever else they get. Then let them come home and give them free money that I a hard working single mother get taking out of my taxes. BULL SHIT. He should be working and paying taxes just like me. And he should be taking care of his children. ALL OF THEM. Grimey MF.

What year is it?

Okay so seriously. I read this thing at work today that got posted onto my Facebook, yes I play on the computer at work, as a matter of fact I'm writing this at work! LOL Okay so anyway I'm attching this for ya'll.

A woman, big and beautiful for that matter. A amazing singer and a great actress. She was in "Why Did I Get Married" By Tyler Perry (my future husband and father of the rest of my children! hehe) Jill Scott, http://www.s2smagazine.com/node/2686, said in a article in Sister to Sister, that seeing interracial relationships make her twinge on the inside. She has a black friend who is successful, intelligent and good looking. Well this friend of her's got married to a white woman. And she admits in this article that she felt a "twinge" that a black man married a white women. She even went as far as mentioning slavery.

Now I'm not a slave owner. I dont know about ya'll. But I have never, not once, in my 29 years owned a slave. And neither have my parents or my grand parents. But I have loved a black man. I have a child with a black man. I have black female friends that are with white men and I dont twinge. I dont remind her that slavery was in her blood and she shouldnt do that. Could someone explain to me why slavery (which she wasnt never a perticipant in willing or otherwise) is still a issue today? Please have pride in your heratige. Thank your ancestors for the evil that they lived for you to have better. And get better for yourself, dont dwell. Do you really think that is what it was about? Dwelling and holding yourself's back still? And for that matter point out to me a pure race. I'm proudly part German, Native America, Irish and god only knows what else. Most of all I'm proud to be a Woman who loves people for who they are. Not what they are.

Now I know a big concern is that "White Women are taking all the good Brothers." Well honey, and I will say this to ANYONE, if you treated that good Brother right he wouldnt have gone to SOMEONE ELSE. White or regardless. Men like women will only take so much. You cant treat them like crap and expect them to keep you in the Bling if you dont work for yourself. What's wrong with buying him some stuff every once in a while too? Reality Check: You dont live in a BET/MTV video. You live in real life. Get a clue.

Now on that note. Big Momma is listening to the radio at work and getting ready to leave her and go to Math. Gotta get that degree to get that dream job baby!

Crazy Last Couple of Months

Well not only is Lil Momma 4 years old now, but Big Momma is 29. Wow how the time fly's.
Things here have not been so bad.
For the 29th me and some of my favorite girls in the world went to a local Casino and had a great time. I didn't win anything, not that I wasn't trying, but one of my friends that I have known sense the 4th grade won about $800. I had some spa treatments and felt like a million dollars. Love those full body massages! LOL No happy endings but still the shit. Big Momma just closes her eyes and lets all the tension go out of her body. After one of those even I feel good for about a week.
I'm going to therapy (LOL) to work through a number of my issues. Some that will and some that wont be discussed on here. I recommend it for any one! Single Momma or not! Therapy is the shit. I go and talk to someone who doesn't know any of the parties that I'm talking about. She listen's and basically I bounce the shit off her. She doeskin care how the other people feel. She wants to know how I feel about it. And most the time the answer is Pissed, Livid, or I'm over caring. We are getting into some intensive stuff here soon, I like the rest of you have gone through some shit that I wish that no one would ever have to go through. Hoping that I took the lumps so that Lil Momma doesn't have to. And I don't know how that's gonna be. I was warned that it's gonna be rough.
There has been Baby Daddy Drama though, let's call it BDD for short. :) He is in short a worthless no good SOB. I have told him to leave us alone and to never come around Lil Momma or I will have to go ghetto on his ass. He not only doesn't show for the times that he said he was gonna come and see her. He has me call him for her. On a specific day at a certain time. Then the MF doesn't answer the phone and text's me two hours later saying that his ringer was off. Are you kidding me? You want a call at a certain time and you look at the clock and see that it didn't happen. Here's some common damn sense. Call that person! Hello! So Lil Momma has been crying for him for a bit now. Big Momma hugs her and let's her cry it out and tells her that she's loved by a lot of people. And it's okay to miss him and cry for him. It's okay to love him. But there is nothing that we can do to make him come see her. And we just have to wait. Over Big Momma's dead body will he be able to come see her. She deserves way better then that MF and she will get it. I will make sure of it.
On a happier note. Big Momma will be graduating in May with her first Associates Degree. I'm really looking forward to that. It's gonna be good for me to see that there is actually something for all the work I have put in. At times I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions and not getting anywhere. I work 40 hrs a week and then I'm a single mother. (Wouldn't do it any other way) But then I go to school too. Where is my Big Momma time? When do I get to sit back and relax. And then I get this nice light at the end of my first tunnel. I'm going back after I graduate and I'm going for another year and getting my second Associates Degree. And I'm so looking forward to that. To be able to leave my shitty job and get paid for doing something that I love. Not having to go to school any more and being able to pay my bills and not live check to check.
And trust me ya'll! If Big Momma can do it so can you!
Any of us can do ANYTHING. We just have to stick with it and go for it.
I have faith! So should you!

Been A Minute

Sorry it's been so damn long sense Big Momma has been here. But things have been happening. For instance. My Lil Momma is now the big 4 years old. She's mouthy as hell and she's starting to act like she's 25. hehe
Next her Father is home from "Work" now. And of course all his Bull Shit about I promise to come see her. I promise to take care of her. I blah blah blah. And where has his lazy no good ass been? Not here. And not calling either.
So this is what I have to say to you ladies. Dead Beat Dad's say what they need to say to keep you happy. The only one that keeps you happy is you. Your responsibility is to take care of your child and keep them happy as well. My Lil Momma cries and asks for her Daddy. But I tell her that he's busy and that it's okay to cry.
What's not okay is that her Father is a schmuck and doesn't take care of her.
So I toast all us Mommy/Daddy's that do both roles and kick ass. Raise one to you, me, us and be happy that we are as amazing as we are. I for one am proud to be Big Momma and feel truly blessed that I have my Lil Momma who acts like she's 25;)

Love A month :|

Alright so I have had a couple of my ladies say to me that they want love, that they are scared to be hurt. That they think they should this or that.
Ladies, unless you love yourself. Truly love yourself. Your not gonna find love.
If you think your in love. Then JUMP. Tell him you love him. Why do you think you have to wait? Why does he have to be the one to say it first? You can say it, prove that your ready for it. Say it out loud to the man you love.
Now I know what some of you are thinking. Some of you are thinking that Big Momma has a lot to say about this when she's alone her self. Well guess what ladies. Big Momma is alone and she is HAPPY that way. I'm not going to settle for something that is not real.
Big Momma is looking for the butterflies in her stomach. The toe curling kisses, and the looks that will take my breathe away.
Unlike some of the ladies out there, I know what I'm worth and I'm not about to settle for something less.
So girlies, even if your a single mother, over weight, under weight, not OMG drop dead beautiful, divorced, or any other excuse that you try to use. There is love out there. And it is for you. You just need to keep your head up and the haters at bay. Cause when you fall, you will land like a ton of bricks and it will be worth every lonely minute of it.
Love you bitches and keep on being sexy!

Happy New Year World!!!! 41 days left

Happy New Year! Big Momma brought the New Year in with some of her favorite people. It was amazing. I danced, I drank and I had a DRAMA free evening.
For the year of 2010 I wish love, happiness, and a amazing year to everyone.
I have no resolutions. I have the things I need the most, Lil Momma, my family and my amazing friends. Big Momma needs nothing else.
I tip my glass to you and wish you the luck to find the same.